What Can You Say About Brownies That's Offensive?

Police were called because a third-grader said something about brownies at his class's year-end party. Someone else thought it was "racist". After the police came, they called the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency.

Maybe I should have called this, "How to turn your student's parents into Donald Trump voters".

Brownies

1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, melted
1 2/3 cups sugar
2 tablespoons water
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
optional - 2/3 cup walnut or pecan pieces

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 13"x 9" pan or line the bottom and sides with non-stick foil or parchment paper, leaving some to overhang on the sides.

Combine the butter and sugar in a large bowl. Stir in the water. Add the eggs and vanilla extract and mix well.

Combine the cocoa, salt, flour and baking powder in a separate bowl. Stir it into the sugar mixture. Add nuts if desired.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake on the middle rack for 18 to 25 minutes. Cool in the pan on a wire rack. Cut into bars.

You're supposed to let them cool completely before cutting. I don't think that there's a single time in my entire life that I've been able to wait that long.

Blueberry Muffins

The grocery had some nice looking blueberries so I made these blueberry muffins. The recipe makes about 16. I think I ate a dozen of them myself. That's why there's no picture of them.

1 stick (8 oz.) unsalted butter, softened

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 1/2 cups fresh

2 cups flour

1/2 cup milk

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line the cups or a muffin tin with paper liners. 

With a mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add 1 cup of the sugar and mix. Add the eggs, vanilla, baking powder, and salt and mix. With the mixer running at low speed, add 1/2 of the flour, then 1/2 of the milk, and mix. Add the remaining flour and  then the remaining milk. Fold in the blueberries by hand until well mixed.

Fill the muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake until golden brown and risen, 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool in the pan at least 30 minutes before turning out.

Makes about 16.

I'll try to make more in the next few days and get a photo of them before they're all gone.

Pancake Day

It's Shrove Tuesday, a day for pancakes!

Pancakes

2 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
pinch of salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled

Mix together all of the dry ingredients. Beat the eggs into the milk. Add the cooled butter, then mix that all into the dry ingredients. Stir just until just moistened - it will be lumpy. If the batter seems too thick you can thin it out with a little milk - add a spoonful and stir to test thickness.

Heat a griddle or flat frying pan with a tablespoon of frying oil (oil that can heat to a high temperature like peanut oil, safflower oil or sunflower oil). Using a ladle, spoon the batter onto the hot griddle. (You can use a teacup or other cup if you don't have a ladle.)

Don't be too eager to turn the pancakes. Watch the tops of them. When you see bubbles forming on the top, they should be ready to flip.

Cook both sides to a golden brown - about 2 to 4 minutes per side.

You can keep the first batches of pancakes warm on an ovenproof dish in a 200 degree oven while you finish cooking the rest.

Makes about 4 to 6 servings.

Serve with maple syrup and butter. Or jam. Or Nutella and bananas. Or chocolate chips and whipped cream.

I Wish I Could Get a Game of Thrones Happy Meal

I want a Game of Thrones Sure-You're-Happy-Now Meal. (Because it couldn't be a Happy Meal. Happiness in Westeros doesn't last.)

It's true that I'm way past the demographic age that McDonald's intends for Happy Meals but let's not pretend that I'm the only adult who gets them.

What toy should come with it? Characters or plush dragons and direwolves? Or a code that would get me special speed gear for GoTA?